Today is the day that the web’s first Social Self Help Network is officially opening its doors and rolling out the welcome mat, and we couldn’t be more excited! We hope you’ll join us by becoming acquainted with MyLifePassport.com and start benefitting from its wonderful features. We’ve just started our private beta trial period, so take this opportunity to be a part of the initial community. Since it’s a private beta, you’ll need the following information:
Visit us here: beta.mylifepassport.com
Username = mlp
Password = mlp
MyLifePassport is a place where you can access a community of friends and experts who are ready and willing to help you with any questions you have, or problems you may be struggling with, and a place where you can share your own life lessons with others. MyLifePassport combines aspects of other social networks with self-help, so you can build a true community of friends that are always there to offer support. In fact, MyLifePassport is integrated with Twitter, which means that from the get-go you’ll have a built-in network of friends to turn to and share with, and you can easily build that community by adding friends on the MyLifePassport site. In the future, we’ll be integrated with Facebook as well!
If you have an issue that you think would be better answered by someone outside of your circle, never fear; MyLifePassport gives you access to experts in life coaching who are waiting for your questions and can offer impartial, professional advice. Whether your questions are focused specifically on one problem, or more generally in one our Life Categories (Mind, Body, Spirituality, Relationships, Career, and Money), you can easily find the help you need to tackle whatever issues you face.
The site is easy to navigate and easy to personalize. Users can create their own profile where they share information about themselves with others, and each user has access to the three main tools that can get you started: Goals, Challenges, and Answers. You can set your own Goals, or join others’, whether long or short term, which will keep you motivated and working towards a positive achievement. You can also take on weekly Challenges, which are fun and inspirational dares that are aimed to improve your quality of life. Joining Goals and Challenges with friends is an excellent way to stay motivated and offer each other support. In the Answers section, you can ask a question that has been on your mind, and offer up your own wisdom in response to others’ questions. It’s a true community, and you will immediately feel like you are part of it.
So poke around, try out the different features, and take the initiative to start working towards your best self! Good luck, and see you on MyLifePassport.com!
Best regards,
Aaron Dillon
Chief Community Officer
beta@mylifepassport.com
“Setting our intent” daily is a powerful practice of choosing what we want in life versus simply reacting to it.
Setting intent is a way to focus your energy on exactly what you want to have happen.
Setting intention causes your energy or momentum to move in a specific direction. Even if you forget what your intention was, your subconscious is still moving towards it.
On MyLifePassport, I encourage you to set your intent using the status update in your dashboard. It’s a great way to start the day.
Using Intention to Achieve Your Goals
Setting intent is something you can do at the beginning of every day, at the beginning of a conversation, the beginning of a meeting or as you’re approaching a busy store to go shopping. It is a way to keep your focus positive and create the kind of experience you want to have.
Setting intent is about creating your own direction and circumstances. You might say something like: Today I want to be my best and appreciate everything good in my life. By focusing on how you want to feel and act, negative thoughts are replaced. If your thoughts start to veer in an unproductive direction, you can catch yourself by restating your intention.
Setting an intention for an important or difficult conversation or meeting helps you come from a productive place. Before entering it you might say to yourself,” I intend to be open to all points of view. I will listen without judgment and I will focus on achieving a win/win solution.” Then take just a few seconds, breathe deeply, and let that intention or feeling of being open, non-judgmental and win/win seep into your entire being. You can then enter the conversation with full confidence and prepared to handle anything that arises.
What is the best way to create an intention? Is it better to do it in writing or say it out loud or just think it?
Writing helps clarify what’s really important to you. Clarity is the first and most important step in the art of manifestation. When the conscious mind is clear and focused, the unconscious mind automatically organizes itself around that clarity.
A goal is something you work on over time; an intention is the mindset you put forth everyday to keep yourself focused so you can attain your goal.
Three keys for setting intent
• Be clear
• Pick something you can control
• Keep it short
Examples of positive intentions:
• I intend to be spontaneous and relaxed as I meet new people today
• I intend to listen carefully and without judgment during the meeting
• I intend to drink six or more glasses of water today (to achieve my ideal body weight)
• I intend to be a good listener
• I intend to let go of my anger and have more patience
• No matter what happens, I will have a great day
• I intend to stay focused
• I intend to eat healthy
Imagine a life that you consciously create….versus one that you’re reacting to.
I’ve seen this question posted quite often on all kinds of Q&A sites. Users’ answers vary greatly and most are personal opinion. In these opinions there is a lot of wisdom, regardless the answer. I’d like to take a different approach: allow me to answer this age old question based on what scientific research has to say about happiness.
Renowned Stanford researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky has studied happiness in scientifically rigorous ways for about 20 years now. She is one of the top researchers on happiness and one of many modern psychologists whose research furthers the field of positive psychology; that is, the study of human strengths (and concepts such as happiness, resilience, etc.) as opposed to traditional psychology which focuses almost entirely on negative human aspects (mental disorders, brain disease, cognitive deficits, etc.).
Lyubomirsky, who originally believed that money made people happier, was forced to change her opinion on the matter after countless psychological interventions with participants and exhaustive research on the matter. Her research has help weed out common assumptions from fact, and she has found that having more money does not make a person substantially happier. To start, humans have a genetic happiness “set-point” that determines about 50% of their base level day-to-day happiness. We operate from that set point and believe it or not, life circumstances (rich-poor, healthy-unhealthy, beautiful-plain, etc.) play a role of only about 10% of our total happiness. There are of course significant traumatic events that can, if severe enough or chronic enough, alter a person’s brain structure or neurochemistry and change their happiness set-point or make it more difficult for them to sustain happiness. Also significant positive experiences such as birth of a child or marriage have a stronger effect on happiness.
With regards to money, even when people get more, better, and fancier luxuries, a natural human phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation occurs. Have you ever walked into a room and smelled something foul, but within minutes you can’t even smell it anymore? That’s because your olfactory senses (smell) became habituated to the odor. Hedonic adaptation works in a similar manner, in that the material pleasures that you acquire or experience can boost your mood and change your state of mind for a little bit, but all those nice things slowly lose their short and long term positive effect on you in the future. It’s as if the pleasure center of your brain becomes “spoiled”.
It is well known in modern psychological literature that money is correlated with happiness to a certain point. Money can improve ones life circumstances drastically, and quality of life is definitely correlated with happiness. However, at the point at which all of a person’s basic human needs (food & water, shelter & safety, social connection of some kind) are met, money ceases to influence happiness altogether. That is, as long as you make enough money to take care of you and your family’s needs, it wouldn’t matter if you made $50,000 a year or $50,000,000 a year.
In light of this research, the only way that I can see money actually buying happiness would be to spend it on doing the things researchers have found that the happiest people do (although most of these don’t have a dollar value):
- Devote time to your family & friends.
- Become comfortable with expressing your gratitude for all you have.
- Become accustomed to lending a helping hand.
- Practice optimism when imagining your future.
- Savor life’s pleasures and try to live in the present moment (not worrying about the future or the past).
- Make physical exercise and a proper diet a habit.
- Create a social support network of healthy friends and family (and be a part of others’ social support).
- Stay committed to the things you value the most.
- Last but not least, remember that everyone (including the happiest of people) has their share of stress or poor circumstances, but it the poise and strength you show in coping in the face of these challenges that matters.
I’ll close by quoting Dr. Lyubomirsky who said that, “happiness, more than anything, is a state of mind, a way of perceiving the world in which we reside.”
I hope I’ve provided you with another angle from which to look at this subject.
All the best,
Aaron Dillon
MyLifePassport.com
agdillon.net
P.S. Also see the book below by Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology.
1) “The How of Happiness” (2007) by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D.
2) “Authentic Happiness” (2002) by Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.
- Silvia Johnson
During this time of giving and gratitude it’s important to consider why you might incorporate this way of being into your business and your personal life. We have been taught from a young age to say “thank you” and to give unselfishly, but as we grow up, we forget the “why” behind the act. The following are updated reminders as to why you would want to incorporate gratitude and giving back into your life. Take a moment to read through the list. Once you are done, pull out a piece of paper to jot down when and where you might incorporate these ways of being.
- Telling an employee that you are grateful for what they do, or share with them a simple “thank you” for something they accomplished. This act will boost them up causing them to be more engaged and feel connected to the business. It will also help establish you as a trustworthy leader that actually sees how they contribute.
- Gratitude and giving back are hot topics covered by all the great entrepreneurs throughout time. If you study the most successful entrepreneurs in history you will see a pattern emerge: giving back to the community and showing gratitude for their customers. Even top entrepreneurs today talk about gratitude and giving back as a must in their lives and businesses. Each and every one believes that time and money must be set aside to give back and that the practice of being grateful for what they currently have allows them to expand in a way so that they can receive more in their life and business.
- During the Fall/Winter months it’s good to know that gratitude also helps to boost the immune system. At the HeartMath Insititue studies show that in addition to relieving stress, five minutes of gratitude boosted immune systems for over 24hours.
We all know that gratitude and giving back feels good, but hopefully now you have a few more reasons why you might want to do each.
- Silvia Johnson
Fall is here, change is upon us and it is time to launch something new. Kids are going back to school and families are having to readjust their schedules to the new flow of things. As we delve into a new pattern of work and life, it often seems that these are times of reflection and considering what’s next.
I’ve personally been looking at ways that I can leverage my time and be able to share my skills in a bigger way. As I sat, reflecting on why I had left the corporate world, it dawned on me. Ultimately I left because I was having to lay people off, and to me that felt like I was crushing people’s dreams instead of helping them create them. It was so emotionally draining and painful for me, that I just had to escape, and escape I did.
In fact after the wedding and finishing up a few more classes I dove into growing my business. Within a few months I had three consulting gigs and a dozen private coaching clients. I was so excited to see it all happening and I was grateful to be “one of the lucky ones” bringing in money in this economy. I continued to grow and transform my business, then one day I had an epiphany, where all the puzzle pieces fell into place and I came full circle.
In order to give back the dream to those who have been effected by lay offs, it was time I gave back in a BIG way. And so, the “3 Simple Secrets to 6 Figures Outside the Cubicle” was born. A *FREE* teleseminar aimed at anyone who believes there is another way to be successful in this world. Click on the link to find a description of what it is and how to sign up. Even if it doesn’t sound like it’s for you, sign up anyway as it will give you a different perspective to the world around you.
I know I’m here to make a difference in my own way, and this teleseminar will take me one step closer to fulfilling my mission. What’s your mission? What are you meant to do in the world?
All the best,
Silvia
- Leo Hirsch
“Half Half and Half”
Someone actually said these words to me the other day. Strangely enough, this statement made sense to me.
The reason her statement made sense to me is because I knew the context. It reminded me that all of us may have trouble understanding the meaning of what someone says if we don’t fully understand the speaker’s context. And yet, we assign meaning to the words people say to us all the time without having the slightest idea of what the other person really means.
I’m reminded of a time when my boss told me, “You need to be on time for my staff meetings.” My boss held his staff meeting at 8:00 am on Wednesday mornings and I was having trouble getting to them on time. I was arriving 10 to 15 minutes late to at least one meeting a month. He was justified in saying this to me. I knew that he was telling me that he was very disappointed in my tardiness. After all, if I respected him and I thought that his meetings were important, then I’d make sure that I got to them on time. Wouldn’t I? In addition, if I didn’t start showing up for his meetings on time, then he was probably going to take disciplinary action and he would be justified in doing so, because I was clearly at fault. This was the meaning I put on his statement.
I felt ashamed and I looked down at the ground and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be late. I’m commuting a long way and the traffic in the mornings is very unpredictable. I’ll make an extra effort to get here on time. I want you to know that I think that your meeting is very important and I mean no disrespect when I’m late.”
He gave me a puzzled look and said, “Oh, it’s not that! I want you to be on time so that you can fully participate in our discussions. Your input is very valuable. You often have a point of view that is different from the rest of my staff and because of that I always want to hear your opinion. When you are late, I don’t always get your input on things that are going on. So, I would appreciate it if you could be on time. Thanks!” (big smile on his face)
Obviously, this experience stayed with me over the years because it represented a significant learning for me: I might not really understand what someone means unless I have sufficient information.
So, when someone says something “rude” to me, or someone says something “disrespectful”, I try to remember that I might want to gather more information before I respond.
By the way, this person was responding to a question I had asked her. I asked, “Do you want Half and Half or non-fat milk in your coffee?”
-Scott Shute
It’s back to school time in our house. There are new backpacks, books, pencils. There are locker combinations to remember and school lunches to pack. A teacher waits with eyebrows raised and asks “Do you have your listening ears on?” Soccer and baseball are starting again. A new cycle has started and excitement is bubbling.
But as adults, the learning cycles aren’t always so obvious. We don’t necessarily get a new backpack as a signal that new lessons are coming. For life-long learners, I think the changes come more often and more naturally. We’ve sent a message to the universe that says “I still want more. I’m not done yet”. Not more money or more things….but more “me”. The true “me”, the ancient wise one, that pure spark of energy that is truth itself. To get to that point requires continuous refining, continuous learning.
I heard someone explaining last week that “Where there’s suffering or tension, there’s learning.” Ok, it’s true, I agree. Tension is an amazing teacher. But long ago I decided, owing to my fundamental laziness, that I wanted an easier path. I observed the pain and suffering in the world and said…”hmm, is there a better way?”
The secret is in the listening. I think it goes something like this…
Life taps at the door very quietly with a new lesson, waiting patiently for our acknowledgment. If ignored, then comes a knock. Still ignored? Then a couple of sharp raps on the door. If we don’t answer, life is still determined. We have requested this lesson after all, whether we’re conscious of it or not. So life now pounds on the door with both fists. “Strange”, we say, “all that noise in the hall. I wonder what it could be.” Life is kicking the door, shaking the pictures off the wall and scaring our cats. Still, we ignore the noise, not sure what to do. Maybe we blame it on the neighbors. Finally, when it can be ignored no longer, life kicks the door open, rushes at us in a blaze of activity, and shouts “Here I am! Can you see me now? Your order has arrived. I am your lesson.”
It’s messy. There’s a broken door, and debris everywhere. Even the neighbors are peering in to see what calamity has occurred. We’re shocked. We can’t believe it.
After all of this we say “Jeesh…you could have just knocked.”
It doesn’t have to be hard. But for it to be truly easy, we have to listen very carefully.
Do you have your listening ears on?
- Silvia Johnson
I escaped!! I left my J – O – B a little over a year ago. It was pretty scary, but I did it!! Some might think that was stupid, I think it was genius!!
Am I living better than ever before? Am I doing things I enjoy doing? Oh Yeah !! Do I regret my decision for leaving? Hell No !! If I hadn’t left when I did, I may have ended up one of those other bitter “professionals” handcuffed to a great company that would suck the life out of me no matter what I did to balance my life.
So what lead to my great escape? There were a number of things that got me to where I am now.
- Digging deep for what mattered to me the most.
- Creating a strong support system in my life which included people that said “yes you can” instead of “no you can’t”
- Changing some gnarly limiting and conflicting thoughts.
- Setting an awesome vision for what was possible in my life.
- Education galore!
After all the deep work and 6 months of recovering from the corporate world, I arrived!! The real me finally opened up her eyes and said – “Here I am, it’s time to live it up!”
So I say to all out there who have the golden handcuffs on that it IS possible to escape! And if as you read this you’re thinking:
- It’s impossible for me to replace my current income.
- I don’t have the money.
- I’m only doing this until the stock vests goes up/goes public.
- I don’t have someone to support me.
- I like the steady paycheck.
- It’s really not that bad.
- I can’t get paid “real” money doing what I enjoy.
- I’m not good at anything else.
- It’s too hard to learn something new.
or any other number of stories that tell you – “you can’t do anything but what you are doing today.” Those stories are the only thing keeping you from escaping. Yes, that’s right, you are the one that’s keeping yourself oppressed.
So, I challenge you to consider – What if the story you are telling yourself is untrue? What if anything were possible for you? What would you dare to dream?
- Scott Shute
A few weeks ago we took a quick weekend trip to Tahoe for some skiing. Starting under the milky shadows of the moonlight, with the stars still shining brightly, we packed up the kids and began the four hour drive, dreaming of the year’s first snowy run. We were making great time, sailing along the orchards and dramatic hillside pastures as the sun painted a pastel breakfast.
With ~50 miles to go we reached the snow line, as well as the point where chain law was in effect on the roads. The area had gotten nearly two feet of snow the day before. The sun was shining brightly, but the snow was still a bit packed on the roads, so….chains. There were signs posted (regularly) that said 25 MPH, but….c’mon, I thought they were more of a guideline. After all, I grew up driving on the rock and dirt roads of rural Kansas in all kinds of crazy weather.
Soon we were stuck behind a little brown pickup doing about 20. We named him Mr. Pokey. I scowled. I silently fumed. We had been making such good time and now Mr. Pokey was determined to make our journey twice as long as it needed to be! 20! Are you kidding me!
Back at home, we hadn’t just been burning the candles at both ends….the entire candle was on fire in a blaze of activity. I had said “yes” to a few too many things. Inside, I was a cold steel knot of stress. Mr. Pokey was keeping me from the snow! We were racing towards fun. I punched it during the next long straightaway and we all waved happily at Mr. Pokey, shaking our heads at his overwhelming caution.
With the iPod cranked and the kids dancing in their seats, we were free to fly again. And that’s when we saw him….”Mr. Mountain Sheriff”. I drew my lips in a tight line as I pulled over, red lights flashing on his black SUV. I knew immediately. There would be no warning. I had already passed over all of life’s warnings. I had seen the signs that I needed a break from life’s fast lane, but I didn’t heed their cautionary signals. So…a ticket.
I drew a deep breath as I took it all in. The meaning was clear. It was a waking dream, where life’s events line up just so to give us a lesson. If we listen carefully to life’s gentle rhythm’s, we see these all around us. For me, I had missed the gentle nudges telling me to slow down (in life). Actually, not quite true. I had seen the signs but had chosen to keep moving fast, at a speed which was not healthy over the long journey.
I also knew, really clearly, that if I didn’t catch this lesson, the next one wouldn’t be so nice. I had the choice to self-correct, or face some more serious consequences that would force a slowdown in the pace of life.
As we sat waiting for Mr. Mountain Sheriff to deliver his not-so-sweet justice, a small brown pickup passed us by. Mr. Pokey drove by with a big smile on his face, secure in the knowledge that he was already at his destination.
- Scott Shute
A friend sent this along recently. Good stuff…
The Rules for Being Human
When you were born, you didn’t come with an owner’s manual; these guidelines make life work better.
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called “Life on Planet Earth”. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. “Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success.”
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it — then you can go on to the next lesson.
5. If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.
6. You will know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.
7. “There” is no better than “here”. When your “there” becomes a “here” you will simply obtain another “there” that again looks better than “here.”
8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.
9. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life — or someone else will.
10. You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract — therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.
11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn’t help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.
12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.
13. You will forget all this.
14. You can remember any time you wish.
(From the book “If Life is a Game, These are the Rules” by Cherie Carter-Scott)