I woke up one day with 15 pounds on me that had never been there before. Do you know this one? I know I was there every day while it happened, but somehow it snuck up on me and I was living in a body that didn’t seem to be my own. I missed myself.
Suddenly I was faced with the mountain of advice and struggle that so many people I know go through every day. For the past year I too have struggled to pick out what might work best for me and give it a try. No results. A lot of money spent. A litany of reasons why I couldn’t work out today, why I couldn’t make more changes in my diet.
And then one day I cracked the code.
“Was it diet or exercise?” a friend asked me excitedly, sure that the answer was in one of these pillars of weight loss strategies. The answer is neither. It is my mind, my internal state that has changed. It gives me free, easy access to both eating and living in a spontaneous state of actually craving what works best for me. I have effortlessly lost ten pounds and know that the next five to ten pounds will be just as much fun. Yes, I did just use that word: fun.
Here are two critical things I do differently:
* Instead of looking in the mirror every day thinking “What a disaster!” and noticing how big I felt, I hold a vision inside me of the body I want. It’s more than just a picture in my mind. I actually imagine feeling that body, as if I had it already. “Be the change you want,” I tell myself. “Your body is getting lighter, stronger, and healthier every day.”
* Instead of wrestling with myself every day about how I “should work out”, I set intention for wanting to do some kind of exercise or movement every day, then followed my natural desire. I ask myself, “What do I feel like doing today?” On days when I feel tired, it’s walking or yoga. On days when I have energy, I find I actually want to do something more active like a cardio routine, bike ride, or weights. I give myself permission to do even a few minutes of something.
As I focus on my desire, I am delighted to find that my body is now craving better food and more movement. I am no longer fighting myself, I am working with my natural desire and making progress continues to be effortless.
So often we have big dreams. We dream of owning our own property, changing jobs, or just doing something different with our life. Often as we dream big and start feeling good about the possibilities, we begin to get disrupted by our inner critic. The critic tells us it is all impossible, that we can’t, we are incapable, or that it will never be.
Often times we agree with the critic, referring to it as the thing that keeps us “real” or “grounded”. But, do we need to succumb to the inner critic? To allow it to rule our lives and dreams? Perhaps not. First you need to take a moment to assess whether the inner critic is hindering or helping you, because if it is not, then it is time to let it go!
So how do you fight your own critical voice? That’s just it, you don’t! The key is to learn how to integrate it so that it is in alignment with the rest of you, not in conflict with your other thoughts and actions. There are many ways of letting go or integrating the inner critic, below is an extremely effective way of doing this:
1. Acknowledge that the inner critic is there.
2. Find out what the intent of the critic is, to know its purpose is to acknowledge the reason it exists.
3. Create an action plan that incorporates the critic’s purpose.
For example, you have an inner critic that tells you “You can’t make money by following your dream”. You first acknowledge that it is there, and then ask, “What is your purpose or intent by saying that?” By asking this question you find that your inner critic’s purpose is to keep you financially secure. Knowing this, you then decide to put together a plan to ensure financial security while you pursue your dream.By putting a financial plan together, you fulfill the inner critic’s purpose in a way that is integrated with you and your dream instead of in conflict.
The more in harmony you are with all parts of you, the more you will accomplish. Try it out. You may be surprised with what you find!
Topics that coaches work with range from relationships and communication issues, health and fitness (weight loss is a huge one), to specific topics like starting a new business or managing personal finances more effectively. To help attract clients, most coaches have developed very specific niches.
Regardless of the topic, there are usually very similar underlying issues that get in people’s way. Here are a few examples
Top 4 great reasons to hire a coach
1. “I’m stuck and I’m not sure what to do next.”
Sometimes we’re just too close to it. We’re wrapped up in the emotion, the drama, and the details. It can be overwhelming
A coach acts as a neutral third party who can easily see through the fog and help us map out what success looks like for us
2. “I know what to do….I just can’t get myself to do it.”
We’ve all been there. We already know the answer. Take weight loss. The equation for losing weight is extraordinarily simple: burn off more calories than you consume. So…why is it so freakin’ hard?!!!
A coach can help us determine what really, truly motivates us, then guide us through developing a plan that centers on that motivation and helps us build positive, lasting patterns that get us what we want.
3. “I need to make a decision, but I’m conflicted.”
We are often stuck between two choices. They’re both so much a part of us that we feel them in our bones! We even use language that says so…. “On the one hand I want to spend more time painting, because that’s what I really love. On the other hand, I really need to focus on my day job because I need to pay my bills”
A coach can help us work out what’s really important to us about each choice and help develop a plan to get what we want.
4. I’m trying lots of things, but I’m still not getting what I want
Paddling really fast with our oar out of the water doesn’t do much except make us tired.
A coach can help us see the impact of our actions and can help us get out of our own way.
Have any other favorite reasons to hire a coach? Let me know.
There’s always a bigger game at play. I love sports – this is one of my favorite stories.
One of the true tests of a great leader is not what happens when you’re there, but what happens when you’re not there. What a great moment for the coaches, teachers, and parents of these young women.
A coach is there to help us live the life we really want.
A traditional sports coach is there to help an athlete fine tune their game to perfection. In the same way, a life coach helps fine tune a person’s approach to life.
In the high stakes world of professional sports, virtually every top competitor works with a coach. Even Tiger Woods, the most dominant golfer of this generation, still works with a coach. Of course Tiger knows how to play the game, probably better than anyone on the planet. In a match versus his coach, Tiger would win nearly every time. So what benefit does he get from a coach? Tiger’s coach is there to pick up on things that Tiger himself can’t see. The coach is there to bounce ideas off of. He’s there to challenge Tiger, perhaps to push him further than he would push himself naturally.
All the same traits are true of a life coach. Of course we all know how to live. We’ve made it this far, right? How many of us can say that we are living perfect lives? Or that we are living to our full potential? A life coach is there to ask us questions that we might not think of ourselves, to challenge the patterns and approaches that we’ve established. A coach is there to listen to our dreams and cheer us on. A coach is there to shine a light on our way of doing things to say “Is that really what you want”
Sure, all the news seems bad. Really bad. Financial markets roiling, war simmers and flares, politicians point fingers, natural disasters threaten to snuff us out. If you watch the news channels long enough you could convince yourself that the end of days is near.
The overall truth is something different. The human spirit continues to triumph. Across the world, less people are living in poverty than they were 30 years ago. More kids and adults can read. Prejudices against those that are somehow different are fading. Violent crime is down significantly. Automobile fatalities have dropped. The environment is cleaner. We are living longer, healthier lives. Divorce rates are dropping. In fact, nearly every aspect of our lives is steadily improving with each generation.
Life is better, but people want more from it.
It’s within this confused environment that we’re launching our new business, My3Goals. Overall, the mission is to give people the skills, resources, and connections to live the life they really want to. It’s part social network, part interactive learning center. It will also be a way for life coaches and experts of various kinds to connect with people that are searching for something better in their lives.
We’re gathering everyone we know who is ready for a positive change to help create this new community.
Think of riding a mountain bike down some sweet forest singletrack. Rocketing down a steep incline loaded with rocks, roots, and drop-offs, the bike tends to go exactly where you’re looking. If you’re fixated on that particularly jagged rock, guess what, that’s where your tire is going. And then good luck with the consequences.
Life is the same way. If we focus on the negative, that’s exactly what we’ll keep getting. If we filter for the positive, we’ll start seeing the good in all that’s around us.
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”
If we see the world as a place that already has everything we need, it will be.
