My3Goals Blog

- Silvia Johnson

Our core beliefs are those we’ve formed in our early childhood. Most are created by the time we are seven years old, with a few more developed around adolescence. As we develop these beliefs, we have an extremely limited view of the world and of ourselves. We tend to take on the beliefs of our parents or of other significant adults in our lives. In addition, we make judgments about what we hold to be true based on our limited view of the world.

Many of these beliefs serve us well as we grow into adulthood. Beliefs such as being kind to others, having integrity, or even having a strong work ethic can help us live as happy and productive members of society. However, there are other beliefs that truly limit us and therefore what we are capable of accomplishing.

These beliefs limit us by filtering the information that supports them, thus proving that they are in fact true. Often times they are core to us and as such seem so real and unshakable, we often don’t call them into question. There are many techniques to find and change limiting beliefs or to enhance empowering beliefs. Below are a few questions to tackle the former.

To begin uncovering limiting beliefs, ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is an “I can’t” statement I say to myself?
2. What must be true for me to say that?
3. How do I know this is true?

To begin loosening the limiting belief, ask yourself the following questions:

1. What positive purpose has holding this belief served?
2. Is this belief always true for you? For others?
3. How would you know, even before you had physical evidence, that this belief had already changed?

Jot down your answers in a journal, or mull them over during a walk. Do whatever it takes to answer these questions honestly, the more you do, the better the results.

- Evelyn James – The Parenting Coach

Perhaps I’m in denial.  Every few years or so I convince myself that I’m not really allergic to avocados, I try it, then end the evening hugging the commode.  At least the interval between these bouts of denial has become longer.

Recently I again tried to convince myself that I really wasn’t allergic to a pair of earrings.  They’re cute, and dangly and with my new haircut they peek out from under my hair and really sparkle.  With infants for the last 5 years (three in succession) I’ve refrained from wearing dangly earrings as infants grab and pull.  Toddlers think they’re a handle to get Mommy’s attention. 

But since we were going on a special outing, I thought I’d give it a try.  As sure as the sun rises, I wound up with sore and inflamed earlobes again. What a phenomenal irritant it is to live with achey and oozing earlobes.  At various points in the day when I really didn’t want to be thinking about my earlobes, there they’d be, itching and demanding attention. 

What an incredibly silly thing to be paying attention to when I have three kids continually demanding attention, a husband graciously wanting attention but not being demanding, a house to maintain, a masters degree I’m working on, a career I’m launching, a business I’m starting, a level of health I’m trying to attain, a state of spirituality I’m seeking to live in, and so on, and so on, and so on.  But no, there are my earlobes screaming “THINK OF ME”.

There are things like this in all our lives at some point or another.  Is it a drawer that won’t shut?  Is it a phone call you haven’t made?  Is it a thank-you note left unwritten? 

What is it that intrudes on your life and your progress? 

It could be any one of a thousand things that keeps you from taking the next step in the direction you REALLY want to go.  It’s the silly little things, like itching earlobes.  Or the big things, like college degrees left unfinished.   They don’t always make sense, but they have the effect of putting speed bumps on your freeway.   What a choice — slow down or rip out your chassy.  Well there’s another choice.  Getting rid of the speed bumps all together.

Sometimes getting rid of the speed bump can be a very simple thing.  Ten minutes of dedicated attention could resolve it completely.  Others might take ten minutes a day, but they’re still just as doable. 

Take a moment to think about how fun it would be to actually drive on the freeway at freeway speeds.  Woo HOO!  Kick that speedbump to the curb!!!

I know I’m throwing away those earrings.  And it should be at least another five years before I eat avocados again.

Evelyn James – The Parenting Coach

I took my three kids to the National Zoo and was pointing out all the interesting animals and exhibits. We came upon the area marked “Cheetah” only to discover that there were none to be seen. As I was scanning the enclosure looking for the cheetah, the children found that there was a small pond immediately on the other side of the fence. There were frogs in the pond, plenty of them! There were goldfish in the pond. There was a dragonfly that flitted from reed to reed.

At the end of the day, with all the other exhibits they saw, the children actually spent the most amount of time at the “Cheetah” enclosure enjoying what was there without looking for what should have been, but wasn’t. They delighted in each new frog that was discovered. They enjoyed watching the fish swim about. The dragonflies became fairies about which they made up stories as they walked to the next exhibit.

I found myself wondering how often I spent more time looking for the “Cheetah” when the frogs, fish, and dragonflies were there for my enjoyment.

I looked in the rear view mirror – trained on my now-sleeping kids, not traffic – and wondered how often I looked for the Cheetah when it came to them. What were all the things a five year old girl should be? A three year old? A husband? A marriage? In particular I wondered about my darling one year old daughter who has Down Syndrome.

I thought that perhaps the Cheetah would have been impressive, but from now on, I was going to look for things that weren’t on the label and enjoy all the frogs, fish, and dragonfairies that come my way.

- Scott Shute

A few years ago we got a quote from three different carpenters to build a built-in entertainment center in our living room. It wasn’t supposed to be anything fancy, just a place to put the TV, stereo, and all the junk that goes with it.

The first guy came and offered to do the job for $10,000. I nearly had a heart attack. Guy #2 bid on the job for $2,500. Now I was really confused. As much as I thought the first guy was trying to rip us off, I thought maybe the 2nd guy wasn’t qualified because he was so much cheaper. Guy #3 offered to do it for $5,400. In the end we went with our gut instincts and found the solution that fit our needs.

People have the same confusion about the costs of coaching. Coaches themselves are even confused. Part of the challenge is that there are so many types of coaches out there. From general life coaching to very specific niche marketing, the topics run the gamut. Coaches also come from a variety of backgrounds. Many come from the world of psychology, but there are wonderful coaches with backgrounds as teachers, cops, business people, human resources executives, physical therapists, chiropractors, etc…

I’ve seen pricing as low as $50/hr for life coaches just starting out to executive coaches that work on retainer for $40k/year. So, when you’re looking for a coach, what should you pay?

Before answering that, consider this. Let’s say you want help from a coach to create a better marriage between you and your spouse. What’s it worth to you to not get divorced? Or what would it be worth to you to get out of your own way and have better self esteem? Or to lose 10 pounds? Ultimately, no matter the goal, what’s a better life worth?

Then consider the likelihood that the coach you’re considering using can help you get there. Nearly every coach offers an introductory session to see if the two of you are a good fit. Use that time to get a feel for their skill level. Follow your gut.

Ok, but really, what should it cost? Here are some very rough guidelines

* Life Coaching – $125 – $175/hr is typical. More for a very experienced coach with a great reputation and background. Less for someone starting out or with less relevant experience.
* Business Coaching – $250-350/hr when working at the Director/VP level. More when working with C-Level staff, less if working at the manager level.

In all cases, consider your ROI (Return On Investment). Set clear goals. Show up and be willing to make the tough changes.

What’s it worth to you to reach your goals?

- Scott Shute

Coaching in the workplace has grown tremendously in the past 15 years and continues to evolve and grow. Here are seven key reasons why companies use coaching to deliver better results.

1.  To improve individual performance or productivity

The company wants to get the most out of the employee, especially for the pricey C-level positions.

2.  To address leadership development / succession planning

Succession planning is a big deal. It costs companies a breathtaking amount to recruit and hire C-Level staff (especially CEO’s) from the outside. Coaching is a great way to help ensure that internal succession planning is successful and the next C-Level staff is grown, not hired.

3.  To improve organizational performance

Coaching can help the leader of the organization deal with the changes and challenges that they face while trying to get the most out of the entire group.

4.  To address specific workplace problems

Sometimes the coach is brought in to deal with a problem. This allows the group’s leader to put the attention that is needed on the problem without becoming personally consumed and letting the rest of the group fall apart. Coaching can help bring that nasty problem to closure more quickly.

5.  To boost employee engagement

Stock options under water? Layoffs all around? Growth prospects slim? If an employee is thinking “Well, at least they’re taking care of me and looking after my professional development”, then they’re more likely to stay and give their best.

6.  To improve employee retention rates

See #5

7.  To improve performance of employees whose supervisor is being coached

The rising tide floats all boats. When the leader is doing well, it sets the tone for the rest of the group and the whole team will perform at a higher level.

Coaching will continue to grow as long as clear ROI is established and maintained