- Anna Corbett
As I look over my own life, and the lives of family, friends, and clients, I find that when in a space of clinging to what we believe to be what we want, what we think we need, or how we believe others should be, we often stop the energy of possibility. When how we believe life should be is so tightly defined that we don’t allow room for the creativity of other possibilities to unfold, we can actually sabotage our own process.
I think often of the concept of transformation and what that means for us living in this century, with all of the possibilities that we have before us.
I am reminded of the Butterfly and what it took for it to move through its own transformation. As a caterpillar, the being was simply crawling along in life, not sure of what direction it was taking. Then one day, instinctually it clung to a twig and began to form a cocoon around itself. Did it have any idea why it was doing so? I think not, yet it was doing what it was called to do, to enter into the cocoon and allow the transformation to take place.
In order for the caterpillar to transform into a beautiful butterfly, as it was wrapped in the cocoon, it first had to let go of the twig. The caterpillar had to trust and fall into the cocoon. Had it continued to cling to the twig, perhaps frightened of letting go, it could never experience the totality of metamorphosis. It never would have transformed into a being that could not only have the freedom to fly, but to bring such delight and beauty to others.
We know that for life to be lived in the fullest manner possible, it is important to have vision, to be clear about what it is that we want. Sometimes though, the clinging to what we think life should be actually takes on a destructive pattern. This pattern keeps us from living the freedom and beauty that we were called to live.
I know in my own life there has been a recent chapter when I clung so tightly to what I believed should be happening that I did indeed impede my own transformation. My energy was stuck. There was no flow to my life or my relationships, and I just could not figure out why things weren’t working the way I thought they should.
I was certain that if I just affirmed and visioned with feeling enough, that my husband would be cured of cancer, that my closest friend would get sober, that our house would sell, and on and on, all would be right. It was only when I came to a place of letting go of the exactness of how life should look, that just like the butterfly, I was in a space to experience what I never could have dreamed possible.
When I let go, I experienced a profound knowingness that: I would hear my calling, I would flow into my life work, what I did have control over was how I ‘showed up’, not the journeys or life lessons of others. When I allowed myself to fall into this cocoon of knowingness, the metamorphosis began. During the time of stuckness I found the following to be almost a mantra and great comfort:
LET GO AND LET GOD
AS CHILDREN BRING THEIR BROKEN DREAMS,
WITH TEARS FOR US TO MEND,
SO I BROUGHT MY BROKEN DREAMS TO GOD,
BECAUSE GOD WAS MY FRIEND.
BUT THEN INSTEAD OF LEAVING GOD
IN PEACE TO WORK ALONE,
I HUNG AROUND AND TRIED TO HELP,
WITH WAYS THAT WERE MY OWN.
AT LAST I SNATCHED THEM BACK AND CRIED,
“HOW COULD YOU BE SO SLOW?!”
“MY CHILD,” GOD SAID,
“WHAT COULD I DO? YOU NEVER DID
‘LET GO’?”
How often we think that we have let go, only to snatch it back. The gift is in truly placing it gently in the hands of God and then walking away, trusting in the goodness of the Universe and the possibility of true transformation.
May I show up each day in a space of awe, wonder, beauty, delight and pure gratitude!
Evelyn James – The Parenting Coach
Note to self – Don’t feed a toilet-training toddler a Nutella sandwich. Particularly if she, like so many three-year-olds is naked. One would think that you could reliably consider the brown smudges to differentiate at about the child’s equator, but I know she left the table with a smudge of Nutella on her ankle and I’m not sure the smudge around her eyebrow was there when she left, announcing loudly “I’ve got to go POOOOOOPY.”
She usually gets it right. It’s the wiping part that doesn’t always work, and sometimes it goes very wrong. The juxtaposition of Nutella and a pooptastrophe was something I hadn’t foreseen. She always hollers from the bathroom “Mommy! I want you to watch meeee!” And often I will sit with her as she does her business. It’s a delightful time to chat and hug and do nose kissies as I sit on the footstool before her little throne. This time however, her baby sister was in the high chair and since the little one figured out how to turn around and stand up, it wasn’t prudent to go watch the three-year-old.
She came back, naked and smudged with brown stuff and I knew it wasn’t all Nutella. But she was grinning that grin that contains all the sunshine in the universe, blissfully unaware that there was anything wrong. She was my child, beaming at me with delight and love and a soon to be disappointed desire to sit on my lap. I vacillated between being a bit grossed out and laughing out loud. Laughing won.
I’ve thought of her like that so often. How that’s really how life presents itself to us. It’s the uncontainable bliss of a child. It’s the gift from GOD / THE UNIVERSE / whatever the heck you call the big unknown we’re all connected to. But sometimes there’s chocolatey goodness and sometimes there’s something that stinks. And so often we lose sight of the DELIGHT that is ours in every moment. We lose sight of the JOY that is our birthright as spiritual beings having a human experience. Even if all you’re experiencing is a sweet confection, there is still more delight under that. And if you’re experiencing a little of life’s crap, I can promise you, you can get rid of it very easily by focusing on the delight beneath.
If you’ve ever given a three year old a shower while fending off a crawling baby, you’ll know there are suds and wiggles and giggles, and you’ll all wind up wet, but with the arms of a child around my neck, and a tiny one pulling up to stand against my leg, life couldn’t be better no matter what it’s smeared with.
I picked up this technique from a master coach I’m working with, who is helping me as I aim to gain my own master coach certification. It is a technique I have used with a number of clients and for myself.
Sometimes I walk through each question, other times I pick and chose based on their state and the particular problem they are having. Try it out the next time you feel you or a friend, colleague or client has reached their own perceived impasse.
1. What’s great about this problem?
2. What’s not perfect yet?
3. What am I willing to do to get it perfect?
4. What am in not willing to do to get it perfect?
5. How can I enjoy the process?
I guarantee if you ask these questions you will find yourself with a different mindset and state of being by the end.
What are you willing to do to move from floating like a feather in the wind to flying like a bird using the wind to get you to your final destination?
- Silvia Johnson
Isn’t it interesting how we all start the new year feeling great about the possibilities. It seems to be one of the only times during the year that we give ourselves the chance to wipe the slate clean. Like the heroine from Anne of Green Gables, Anne Shirley said, “Tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes in it!”
I like that quote because that’s how it feels to me. Every day is a day to explore and to start fresh. Often times the way we begin our day is what dictates how it will go. Days where we wake up feeling fresh and happy tend to go smoothly and easily. While days where we wake up on the “wrong side” of the bed, there is no end to the mishaps and troubles that await us. So how do you ensure you have more good days than bad? It’s all about managing your mindset, below are a few tips to help you get into the right mindset!
1. Center yourself – whether you do this via meditation or deep breathing, finding your center will help you focus your attention and increase your energy.
2. Set Intent – take a moment to set your intent for the day. By setting intent you are establishing “how” you want the day to be and therefore creating the right state of mind to make sure it happens.
3. Gratitude – make a list (verbal or written) of what you are currently grateful for. Gratitude impacts your state of mind and according to research conducted by the Institute of Heart Math, it also boosts your immune system.
Over the next week, start your day with these 3 simple steps and notice how your days change for the better.
All the Best,
Silvia Johnson