I recently saw in a commercial that the average person had 25 friends in 1980. Today, the average person has over 200. 200 friends! There is just no way that anyone can be close with 200 people. 200 acquaintances, perhaps, or 200 friends-but-we-don’t-know-anything-about-each-other. It’s a lot of effort to stay in touch with that many people, and I feel like many relationships suffer the consequences of people spreading themselves to thin.
So how do you keep your friendships strong? How do you make sure that you stay close with those 25 people from 1980? It can be especially hard as people grow and change and chase their dreams in a different direction from where you’re going. One thing I’ve found that really helps is Facebook, which is ironic because it seems like Facebook is also the culprit of this upswing in friend-count. But Facebook has wonderful features that can help you keep in touch with your friends who might be far away. I studied abroad for a few months last year and when I got back, all of my new friends lived all across the United States, so what we did was create a message thread on Facebook that we could all read and contribute to. A year later and we’re still all catching up on the thread – in fact, three of my friends will be visiting me this week!
When I feel like I’m drifting away from my friends who live nearby, I generally don’t turn to Facebook; this is the occasion when you need to make that extra bit of effort. I know you’re busy, and your friend is busy, and you both have lots of other busy friends, but make time. You need to eat lunch anyway, so why not meet up with a friend? Or go out to see a local theater performance together instead of watching reruns on TV by yourself. Or call up your friend to go shop at a local flea market or vintage store instead of online shopping at home. Or meet your friend and hit a bucket of balls at the driving range instead of watching ten hours of the US Open at home. Or…anything! Just make the effort, think of something new and fun that you can do together. Show your friend just how important they are to you.
It’s a wonderful thing to have a lot of friends, but it can put stress on the friendships that mean the most to you. Make sure you identify who those people are, and do everything you can to take care of those relationships.
All the best,
Margo Winton
My3Goals Blog Manager